me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
