Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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