Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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