just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
