Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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