hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
