Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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