dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
