i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
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