just survived the first fart of the relationship.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
The ass gains better be worth it
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