she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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