He disabled his match.com account in front of me
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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