what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
