Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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