My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
