sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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