It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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