So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
