I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
