he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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