His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
