This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
