The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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