OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
