so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i think i have herpe
just one?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
