Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
two words: eviction party
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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