The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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