Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
