No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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