:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
