just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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