dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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