I just pynch a tree in the face
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
