I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
