the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
