He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
