I accidentally had phone sex last night
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Randomize
