FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
