ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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