R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
