Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
