I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
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