Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize