Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
