And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it glows. i had to have it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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