Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
