dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
