The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
