I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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