he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
